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Can you really improve your
emotional intelligence?
Some people question if emotional intelligence exists, but the consensus of experts think that EI is a real
thing. Some people are convinced that emotional intelligence is simply just an extension of your personality.
If it is just part of your personality, then it’s not much different from saying that you are just born with that
emotional intelligence or you’re not. This is very depressing. Study after study has shown that emotional
intelligence plays a big role in overall personal success. It
works hand and hand with IQ.
It does not hurt to be born with high IQ, this will open a
lot of doors for you, but you cannot rely on it alone. IQ
can only go so far. You may be a high IQ individual but if
you are lazy, there would be less opportunities for you.
You may be able to grasp otherwise complicated concepts
very quickly but if you are unable to communicate with
your emotions effectively, this inability is going to hamper
your success.
IQ does not exist in a vacuum. It coordinates with another
important human skill set, emotional intelligence. The problem with positioning emotional intelligence as
essentially arising out of personality is that it becomes random. You are left with the conclusion that either
you’re born with emotional intelligence or you’re not.
This flies in the face of evidence. Why? A lot of people who start out emotionally awkward or even socially
incompetent become exceptionally smooth polished and effective when they find themselves in social
settings. In other words, they chose to increase their emotional intelligence they chose to hone their skills.
They did not wait for their own personality-based emotional intelligence to kick in. They took matters into
their own hands.
They know that they have issues dealing with other
people, so they got the right information and they
worked on this trait over an extended period of time
until they got it right. In other words, building up
emotional intelligence, if you look at it as an ability
instead of some sort of built in, in born extension of
your personality, is very much like working out in the
gym. Do you remember the first time you went to the
gym? It was probably hard on your body because you
have not worked out before. But after two weeks of
continuously hitting the weights, it got easier and
easier and eventually you reach the point where you
can scale up the weights. Now you’re probably lifting
a lot more than when you started. The same applies
to emotional intelligence.
At first, it’s going to be downright scary. In fact, in certain cases it may seem downright pointless. But the more
you keep at it and the better results that you get, the more you stick to it and the better you get at it. You
create an upward spiral. So where is the ‘gym’ for building this EI? Well, for that you need to talk t someone
who knows how the mind works, that’s a hypnotist. With the right focus and the right mindset, you can
strengthen your mind and improve your EI. If you would like more information on how that works then
connect with me via my contact me page and find out how best to change.
Turan Mirza
Hypnotist and Clinical Hypnotherapist
Feel Good Hypnosis